Just Maybe!!!
No one’s ever truly gone
For they are always with you
Watching and helping with
Everything you do
“I love you” in the air
Know that they are listening
And know that they are there
They fly only beyond your sight
In a kingdom free of pain
And when you leave this world
You will be with them once again
MARIAN'S DREAM
On August 24th 2005 when diagnosed with Lymphoma Marian wrote "Why me? I don't know - have I been a really awful person - I don't think so? Why not me? What makes me so special? There is no rhyme or reason - just because!"
So many others must have shared those thoughts!
My fondest memories through early childhood like many my age were those dark winter nights sat around a blazing fire - as usual half asleep - isn't it amazing how you can see so many shapes and faces in an open fire - a bit like the clouds - I would allow my mind to wander to so many different places. My friends would tell their innermost secrets after such interludes. I never had thoughts of a dashing soldier rescuing me on his white horse from some perilous fate like most girls of my age; my mum had always told me dashing men were few and far between and if there were any, they were certainly too old for me! I was however excited by the old films that we used to watch together, especially the epic "Gone with the Wind" with Scarlet O'Hara resplendent in red, descending that wonderful stairway! I dreamed of wearing a Red Ball gown just like hers, adorned with fine jewellery, and that in the distance I could hear an orchestra playing as I slowly walked to the top of a grand winding stairway, then I paused and gazed in wonder down onto a ballroom full of men with their partners wearing dresses of satins and lace. Unexpectedly a mist rolls down the staircase before me "I hope I don't fall, too many eyes are on me, I take a deep breath, and with head held high step down towards the room".
Could this really be happening!..........This is my dream!
On January 9th 2007 Marian passed away after suffering a stroke a few days earlier, we are left with a great void and feeling of emptiness but truly believe some good will come from our loss. Marian had tremendous resolve and fought her illness until the end. We are so pleased that we were able to bring her home before she passed away. The Medical Assessment Unit at The Royal United Hospital, Bristol Ambulance Service and The Macmillan Specialist Nurses were magnificent in making all the necessary arrangements. She passed away peacefully at around 9.00pm in our conservatory at home with many of her family around her - just as she would have wanted. We know many of you may have experienced much of what we feel at present and even though we knew time was short, still never would have believed we could feel as we do.
"The Lady in Red" was Marian's concept, her way of giving instead of taking from life and in the latter part of 2006 when her diagnosis became terminal under her guidance we formed this organisation - our pledge now is to carry out Marian's thoughts and ideas and raise with your help the much needed monies to finance and support those who can and often are the only link between reality and a living nightmare.
Alan Cane
with
